Price: $0.00 (FREE to a good home)
Location: Central Tucson / Near Blenman-Elm & Speedway
While doing some deep spring cleaning in the dark recesses of my pantry cabinet, I stumbled upon a true biological marvel: a bonded pair of hyper-ambitious starter potatoes.
Look closely at the photo. The main potato isn't just sprouting—he literally developed two glowing green eyeball-sprouts that are staring directly into my soul, plus a majestic little green toupee growing right on top of his head. His sidekick in the back is doing the exact same thing. They look less like nightshades and more like two sentient alien creatures waiting for instructions from the mother ship.
Most grocery store spuds give up and turn into a sad mushy mess in the dark. Not these two. Against all odds—and without a single drop of water from the CAP canal—this dynamic duo has developed a fierce, unyielding ambition for life and propagation. Their will to live is stronger than a saguaro in a drought.
I feel deeply guilty just chucking them into the compost bin after they put this much effort into sprouting full facial features. They have made a profound emotional impression on me, and now I want to pass the torch to a true desert gardener.
APPLICANT REQUIREMENTS & POTATO SPECS:
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The Vibe: Extremely gnarly, fully sprouted, and 100% looking at you right now.
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Housing Need: Must go together as a bonded pair! They need a loving garden bed, raised planter, or a couple of big 5-gallon buckets full of fertile soil where they can fulfill their destiny.
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Resilience: Have spent months surviving pitch-black darkness next to an old box of Bisquick. They can handle the Tucson heat better than most of us.
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Included: Photos attached so you can admire their little leafy hairstyles and sprout-eyes in all their glory.
If you have a yard, a garden, or an empty pot sitting on your patio, please take these glorious warriors off my hands. Knowing they are out there living their best lives in Southern Arizona soil will bring me eternal peace.
Rehoming Fee: $0. Serious plant parents only. Pick up near campus!
